Life after her
by pinkprincessmln
Summary: Future fic. Ryan and Taylor are married and have kids
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Future fic. Ryan and Taylor.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, however I would love to have the Cohen's house. **

**Please R&R!**

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He was sitting with her when it happened. They were snuggled up on the couch watching a movie with there youngest child, Ryan Jr., when their daughter Marissa walked in with the picture. It was so ironic she was the one who found it that when Taylor saw what she had she let out a small giggle. After quickly trying to conceal said giggle from her husband, who even though he had chosen their daughters name, hardly ever called her by it, she walked over, picked up Marissa and put her on her daddy's lap. Marissa looked up at her dad with curious eyes of a 10 year old and asked her dad the question he knew had been coming.

"Who's in the picture with you Daddy?"

Ryan's face softened. It was a picture of them at the bonfire party. They where both wearing Berkley sweatshirts, smiling, and staring into each others eyes. He glanced at Taylor, sweet loving Taylor, Taylor, his wife. She gave him a nod, silently communicating that every thing would be all right. He took a deep breath and said:

"That is Marissa Cooper." He told Marissa all of it. They 1st time they had met, the 1st time they kissed. Then he got to the part where the picture was taken. He explained how joyful the night had been. Then he got to the tough part, the part where he was driving her to the airport. That's when he lost it.

He didn't cry in front of the kids, no matter how much Taylor told him that it was okay to let them see his emotions, he still didn't believe her, so before he lost it he excused himself and ran to the porch. Taylor, after telling the kids to enjoy the movie in that matronly way she was so good at, hurried dutifully after him.

There he stood, her man.. He hadn't changed much in the past 13 years. Having kids had changed his soul, but on the outside he still looked like that well muscled kid from Chino. The only difference was now he wore a suit to work. Taylor loved every inch of him, inside and out. And she knew he loved her back, but she also knew there was a part in his heart that remained only for her. She was his 1st loved and if she had lived Taylor could pretty much guaranteed that she wouldn't be Mrs. Taylor Attwood.

It had taken her a while to come to grips with that. The 1st few years had been hard. She had to learn when to back off and when to help him through his problems. She had tried though and it had all paid off in the end hadn't it? She approached Ryan cautiously knowing how he could get at times like this. She didn't want to push it, but she did want there kids to know what Marissa Cooper had been like, even the tough stuff no one wanted to talk about.

"Are you okay baby?" She asked him with a tone of consideration that he loved about her.

"It's not faire." He mumbled. "It's just not fair that she's gone."

"Ryan, nobody knows why it happened. Death is a just a matter of life." She said in her bubbly, non-chalant way. Ryan wondered how she could stand there acting like this was no big deal.

"It's been 15 years, 15 years of never seeing her, not talking to her, and it's just not fair. It's not fair that my kids are asking about her, it's not fair she never got to see me happy, even if I wasn't happy with her."

"Yeah Ryan," Taylor said, "It's not fair. I know we are happy now, but when ever I see you talk about her a little bit of me dies inside. It's not fair you had to loose her that way. I know you loved. But I also know you have a little girl in their who needs to know what a great person Marissa Cooper was. So please baby, I'm begging you, please go inside and try to tell your daughter how it eneded. Marissa would want her to know, I want her to know, and you want her to know."

He begrudgingly agreed and turged into the house and sat back on the couch. Surroned by his kids, and his wife, he finished his story. When he was all done there where tears in every ones eyes, and no one, not even Ryan, was afraid to let them show.

"Do you still lover her Daddy?" Marissa asked him. She started into his tear filled eyes as he looked at Taylor and said:

"Yes I do, but I love your mommy now the way I loved her then."

"Do you miss her Daddy?"

"Yeah Marissa, I do, she was a great person with a great soul and I have missed her every day since she left this earth. But that doesn't stop me from being happy, because I know she wanted me to be happy, and somewhere in side me I wanted her to be happy too, even if it wasn't with me."

Marissa, who could think of no further questions sat with her family and watched the rest of the moving in silence, while holding on to the picture of her namesake. When Ryan was in bed that night, Taylor, per her usual, had something to say.

"Marissa would have been really proud of what you did today." She whispered to him.

"Yeah," Ryan whispered back, "Yeah she would."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **As requested I wrote another story, doesn't go off the last one, but is in the same a/u. Thanks for the R&R's they made me smile.

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You'll always be my little Girl

She was his little girl. He held her so tight at 1st that Taylor had to tell him to let go or she'd slip right out of his hands. Ryan then clumsily handed her over to Taylor, he was afraid of hurting her in any way. Taylor had let Ryan chose her name, she figured if she got to carry there little girl inside her, he should be able to name her and he'd picked what she had expected him to. And just like that, Marissa Anne Atwood was born. She was a healthy 8 lb. baby, all smiles and sunshine. Yet it only took Taylor a week to notice something wrong between her and her daddy.

Ryan never called her by her name. He had invented a million and one nicknames, from 'baby M' to 'little bubble'. He was always tender around her, keeping his voice soft and soothing and only making the most deliberate and slow movements, as not to disturb her, yet Taylor knew she was going to have to talk to him about it.

One night, after Marissa had gone to bed, Taylor and Ryan where snuggling on the couch having a glass of wine, Taylor decided it was time.

"You're going to have to some time you know," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Have to what?" He asked, genuinely confused about the moment, sure he knew he didn't call his baby Marissa, but he didn't think Taylor had noticed. Apparently he had thought wrong.

"Call her by her name."

"Yeah I guess your right." Ryan didn't feel like denying it, there was no use in that anyway. It wasn't that he didn't love his little girl, and it wasn't that he hadn't gotten over Marissa; after all he did love Taylor. Yet for some reason he didn't know, every time he thought of saying her name he got a little chocked up inside.

"Ryan, what's wrong?" Taylor wanted to know why he couldn't say his baby's name. "You did choose her name after all."

"I know," Ryan said, trying his best to remain patient. He had named her and he had wanted Marissa's memory to live on. So what he should have done was get used to the idea.

"Ryan, I'm not going to pretend to know what you're feeling. I'm not going to tell you to call her by her name. But I am going to tell you that I didn't let you name our little girl so that you could stand around and think of a million ways to avoid calling her by said name. Just remember, your daughter and I love you."

As Taylor ascenede towards their room Ryan heard his daughter cry. He headed towards her room down the hall. The walk seemed to take forever, but by the time he got there Ryan Attwood knew what he had to do. He held his daughter tighter than he ever had before, rocking her to sleep. And as he layed her back in her crib he whispered softly in her ear:

"Good night, I love you Marissa Ann."


End file.
